Pseudo-Religion 101: Introduction to Divine Retribution

Since Ray Nagin and Pat Robertson (and many others who live in daily fear of the just wrath of God) are anxious to discover just how they are being punished and for what sins, here are some important historical examples from humanity's rap sheet:

.WHAT WE DID ..............WHAT GOD DID
TO ANGER GOD ............. TO PUNISH US

Invented war ......................Invented hippies

Witchcraft..........................Postmodernism

Mindless Pagan..................Political Parties
Idolatry

Sold Indulgences...............Sells Car Insurance
and Bogus Relics...............and Online Prescription
.........................................Medication

Beheaded Saint.................Beheaded
Thomas More....................Jayne Mansfield

Killed the last...................Killed the last honest
Passenger Pidgeon............building contractor

Forced courthouses...........Forced NASCAR to
to remove the Ten.............mandate restrictor
Commandments................plates on race cars

The so-called World...........The so-called
Council of Churches...........United Nations

Communism......................Low-flush toilets

Moved the Dodgers............Moved Detroit
to Los Angeles.....................to Japan

Jailed Martin Luther.............Released G.
King, Jr..............................Gordon Liddy

Cancelled Star Trek............Vietnam

Aleister Crowley.................Pat Boone

Garth Brooks......................Eminem

Bill Clinton........................George Bush

Replaced "Merry...............Replaced "woman"
Christmas" with ...............with "bitch" and "man"
"Happy Holidays".............with "motherf--ker"